By Ruchika Batra

Decoding NLP With Suren Kolkankar

Decoding NLP With Suren Kolkankar

What is NLP?

NLP Stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Neuro– It refers to our mind or our nervous system, through which we gather and process information which we receive through our five senses.

Linguistic– Our language. Both verbal and non-verbal.

Programming– Patterns that run in our nervous system at the unconscious level. It is a result of what information we have gathered through our senses and the language we use. These are the programs that enable us to behave almost automatically.

Hence, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the science of modelling the patterns of human behaviour. It explores the inner workings of the human mind: how we think, how we develop our desires, goals and fears and how we motivate ourselves, make connections, and give meaning to our experiences. It is the art and science of personal excellence, derived from studying how the top people in different fields obtain their outstanding results.

NLP does not focus on the content of experience. Instead, It focuses on the structure of experience in order to make positive change.

Interesting, can you give us an in-depth understanding about this technology? 

NLP was developed in the early 1970’s by an associate professor of linguistics, John Grinder and a psychology student, Richard Bandler at the University of California at Santa Cruz.

Together they initially intensively studied and then modelled three top therapists of that time.

They were:

1) Fritz Perls

2) Virginia Satir

3) Milton Erickson

  • Fritz Perls was a noted German born psychiatrist and psychotherapist. He developed and popularized the gestalt therapy.
  • Virginia Satir was a successful family therapist based in California. They discovered that she affected and changed the behaviour in her clients by being very specific.
  • Milton Erickson was an American Psychiatrist, who specialized in medical hypnosis and family therapy. He is commonly known as the father of hypnotherapy. Bandler and Grinder discovered that he achieved change by being extremely ambiguous with his use of language.

Bandler and Grinder continued to study the techniques of people who were the leaders in their field, they then modelled and organised these techniques so that they could be learnt and replicated by others to achieve their desired success.

Who can and who should undergo NLP Training?

Anybody who has a Brain. We have witnessed people from 13 years of age to 80 years from various fields, right from Students, Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, teachers, Professors, Sports people, Coaches, Comedians, Spiritual teachers, Housewives, Businessmens, Entrepreneurs, Doctors, Social workers, Counsellors, Trainers, etc.

NLP is becoming the need of the hour as what we do in life is determined by how we communicate to ourselves. It makes you an effective communicator. So that you can communicate with yourself and others effectively.

What are the common fears and myths related to NLP? Please debunk them for us.

There is a NLP Presupposition, which says, “People respond according to their maps of reality and not to reality itself” which says, we all experience events in different ways and from that we each create our own internal perception of the world from which we operate. So, this is how some myths are created. Let me share few with you.

  • NLP is manipulative

To manipulate means to handle or control something, typically in a skilful manner. NLP is manipulative if you take it in terms of its creating change in yourself and in others. So if you were to take a problem and manipulate it into disappearing, then yes, you can say NLP is manipulative. But is creating positive change a bad thing?!

NLP is a tool. An extremely powerful tool, and like any tool, it can be used by someone with or without ethics, empathy and integrity. The tool itself is never the one manipulating. It’s the person using it.

  • NLP doesn’t work

Well, we have seen the student’s progress in school. Some fail and some pass. It depends on the students potential. The child who scores excellent marks always praises the school and the one who fails always blames the school. It’s a tool. You should know how to use it.

  • NLP controls other people

NLP can help to influence people. It is possible to learn to recognize the patterns of every human behaviour, and with the help of this it might be easier to do the influencing. However, it is only this bit. You will never be able to act against person’s will, and thus NLP certainly will not help to control other people.


Is there any science behind NLP? Why it works? 

Yes. Let me share some patterns of NLP.


An anchor is a stimulus that evokes a specific mental state in someone. What happens to us when we see our National flag? It creates certain feelings in our body, isn’t it? We get associate to the feeling the moment we see that flag. When you see a police car, it is likely that you’ll slow down or check your speedometer, regardless of whether you’re driving too fast or not. In both examples, the national flag and an image of the police car, in NLP terminology an anchor, which triggers an automatic behaviour in us. Most of the time we anchor negative states.

The good news for us is that we can anchor certain triggers to positive emotional states – meaning that you can feel confident, happy, positive, energised or downright fabulous on demand. It has such power because it aligns your neurology in an instant.

It works because if a person relives an intense state, and at the peak of that experience applies a specific stimulus, then the two events will be linked neurologically.

State management

Our behaviour is the result of the state we are in. Now, there are two main components of state. The first is our Internal representation and second is our physiology. The internal representations that we make consists of pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells and self talk. These often present themselves to us in the form of thoughts. NLP helps us to control our internal representation the way we want. Through control of our internal representations we can change our own physiology in an instant and also our state of mind, so then we can decide to get better behaviours. We can influence other peoples internal representations and therefore we can positively influence other peoples behaviours.


The core of NLP is ‘modelling’ – which is the practice of recognizing someone’s excellence, finding out how they achieve that excellence, then working at replicating those results for yourself. It’s pretty obvious that we all do that. That’s how we learned to speak and do all of the other things we do so well – NLP just gives a structure to that learning.

Can you share with us any one system from NLP that has changed or re-framed your life?

We have a powerful tool in NLP called submodalities, which is said to be a ‘users manual of our Brain’. Since, I am a Goan and as everybody knows Goa is famous for its fish. So, I was a pure non- vegetarian throughout my childhood. I wanted to transform myself to a pure veggie but didn’t know how. The moment I came to know about Submodalities, I immediately started applying it with my food habits and I am glad to tell you that I am a pure vegetarian now. It works instantly. It also helped me to represent the things in my brain the way I want with the power of submodalities.

What would be your advice to someone who is new to this subject?

Attend NLP Practitioner level, as it will give him/her the better insight about NLP. It is the foundation of how NLP works.

Any books/personalities you follow and would like to refer to our readers?

The guy who actually made NLP famous is Anthony Robbins. I would refer his books, especially, “The Unlimited Power”.

How can people enhance their career with this science?

Whether you are at work or are changing jobs, you are effectively competing for advancement. And, since many of your colleagues will have equally good education, skill, and experience, your career advancement can depend on your personal qualities – how you come across or how well you relate to others, your ability to organise and present your ideas and inspire others with these ideas, or how confident and congruent you appear.

  • NLP helps you to build rapport & develop quality relationships to influence, negotiate and resolve conflict easily.
  • It also helps you to understand the power of language in influencing the thoughts and actions of others and builds highly effective relationships by harnessing verbal AND non-verbal communication.
  • It enhances your performance and confidence at meetings and presentations.

Any upcoming courses one can attend?


The coming NLP Practitioner course is to be held in sunny Goa for five days starting on the 11th of July 2015 to 15th of July 2015. 



Suren Kolkankar, Founder and CEO of SK CONSULTANCY, is a Motivational Speaker, Life coach, MLM Coach and an Internationally Certified Master Practitioner and a Trainer of Neuro – Linguistic Programming.

Having 10 years of experience in a Multi-Level Marketing industry has helped him to understand human behaviour to the core. This has driven him to pursue a career in the field of personal & professional effective training & development.

Suren has developed his passion in Public speaking since the age of 18. As a Speaker, Suren is truly a gifted motivator and is known for his ability to inspire, challenge and amaze his audience. He is a highly energetic trainer and has got the ability to captivate the audience with his charisma and smile. He has trained more than 10,000 people in the field of personal development. He believes that we have millions of ideas in our mind which we never trace. It′s just a matter of breaking the limiting beliefs and allowing the flow of ideas to come forth. His motto, “Don′t go through life, rather grow through life” speaks a thousand words.

Website: ( Facebook, Twitter: @ SurenKolkankar,  Google +

Contact: +91 9860 840 975



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