Pity Party – A celebration of victimization, indulging in negative behaviors and a cry for life’s unfair attitude.
We all throw pity parties during the rough and touch patches of life. We are constantly criticizing, blaming and talking about how bad our situation is and how we don’t deserve it. Its a storm of whining with friends over a pint of beer on how everything goes wrong, how nothing really works and how badly what you do gets into trouble. I have thrown a lot of pity parties myself, its a crazy town down there with no constructive value. Be it small issues or major setbacks pointing fingers at someone else and making a fuss about it is the default easy solution. It comes kind of naturally to us because we live in a society where people blame the government, parents nag the neighbors, girlfriends walk around unhappily howling about the boyfriend and so on. But the fact is we do throw pity parties which are really unhealthy and unsatisfying in their commemoration. Often its okay to puke out your stress with such an act but if it becomes an addictive behavioral pattern there you need some tweaking and help.
Five Ways To Stop the Pity Party
1. Complain Free Fasting – As you diet for certain goals for your body on weight loss or fast for religious beliefs, you can definitely try the similar format for your positive life. Go one day without beating yourself down and whining about your journey with conscious efforts. Keep a check on yourself for 24 hours and if you find yourself protesting and falling back, stop and start again. Giving a fuck about things really don’t work and if you wish to lead a less stressful life you have to pull yourself out of the loop of crying everyday. Start small and keep doing this for at least 21 days. It will take time to recondition the behavior but if you keep on going, there is a great assurance that you will have a much brighter and happy life.
2. Unleashing the underlying reason – Self pity is not merely a behavioral problem but its more of a psychological imbalance. Not to scare you but there is more to what it looks like. If you fall into the category of throwing pity parties and enjoying them or you feel its the only way you are recognized or accepted by others then we have an underlying issue of low self-esteem. Most people victimize themselves to seek attention and acceptance of their peers. It is a pattern which of course can be punctured down with willingness and conscious action. So, if you can relate to understanding why do you indulge in throwing pity parties, you can change it for good. Start with building your confidence (here) and following the below mentioned points.
3. Believing that this is the best possible thing that could happen to you – This is the message from a book titled “Zen and the art of Happiness” – Chris Prentiss. It was gifted to me and has been one of the special books I read while beginning my personal development journey. When you take your worst situation to be the best possible thing, your perception changes drastically. When you look at your accident, failure, rejection, misfortune, job loss as the only best thing that could have happened to you, there is a certain ease and power that shows up. So whatever it is that you are complaining about, start taking it as the best thing and you will notice the decline in the number of times you cry about it.
4. Taking Personal Responsibility – When we express dissatisfaction or annoyance about our life’s situation we are counting on the results and outcomes to change magically. But we aren’t counting ourselves to turn it around! Taking personal responsibility and checking on what you can do in your limits to help yourself will benefit in a great manner. You will also be able to stop feeling helpless or seek others to provide you assistance.
5. Attitude of Gratitude – I totally believe that gratitude is your solution for everything. Once you start counting your blessings, the emotions in your mind and energy in your body rearrange itself. Making a gratitude list works wonders! But if you cannot do that, start by looking at what you have whenever you complain or whine! Gratitude has been scientifically proven to contribute in happiness and inner joy. If you can just follow this one, your life will be awesome!
For those times when you feel lost and alone, do go through these six truths to remember!
Do share your favorite take-away from this post!