Have you ever noticed that voice in your head which is constantly judging your own world? It is always birthing words, statements and ideas that make you feel unwanted, negative, unloved and not good enough? It tells you stuff you cringe at hearing like how fat, ugly, clumsy and unattractive you are. It makes you believe in things that takes you away from your friends, potential clients, loving affairs and networking with anyone in general. It is that inner negative voice we all hate. I have been struggling with this voice from years, it was so loud, evident and dramatic that it took away so many precious moments of my life and converted the good ones into unpleasant instances.
This voice didn’t leave any chance, any opportunity to show up like a full-time employee and worked so hard to prove me things that weren’t true. It came up to me and made me feel bad when I was in a meeting, interview, hanging out with friends, buying things for my loved ones or making any important call. It told me to shut away, stop performing certain actions that pushed me out of my comfort zone and it crossed many limits.
But my entire inner reality changed when I observed that it was only uttering lies, it was illusionary and false-hearted. It was present because I was believing in it and the moment I shut her up, poof! it was all gone. After being involved in the personal development journey, I realized the importance and differentiation of the stories we tell ourselves because the thinker is different than the thought. Your thoughts create the story of your life and most of these thoughts are sub-conscious and gained from the experiences that we go through. So, negative thoughts are just the garbage bin of the society that we are holding on to and it can be really troublesome. You can not get over this voice because its so ingrained but you can definitely reduce its volume or silence it in different circumstances through a wide variety of tools, here are some –
1) Noticing The Mean Voice
You will have to first notice the situations that negative voice wants to conquer, you will have to make a list of all the sentences it throws at you and once you know that it is just a voice and not who you are, then you’ll be able to separate yourself from its possessive power. There can some constructive criticism coming your way or just lies. You will have to be a better judge and notice the difference!
2) Question It’s Integrity & Purpose
This mean and cranky voice is a big fat liar, it feeds on unhealthy behavior and filthy values. So if it says you are ugly, you have to question it back and ask her – What’s beautiful for you anyway? How could you call me ugly? Who are you to judge me? Bounce back all sorts of questions to understand its origin and give her a face-off. Try to dig its purpose and remind her that you want to feel happy and pleasant.
3) Give Her A Personality
It might sound a little crazy but I guess we are all in the same shit so if you wanna move a little higher, you will have to do certain things to go beyond the pattern. Give your mean voice a name and a face, if possible draw or sketch it and doodle its persona with big glasses, cracked teeth, black wings or whatever funny creative ideas you can come up with. When you make him/her look like a negative and funny person you tend to stop believing in its mischievous dramas.
4) Demand Happiness & Seek Wisdom
This voice is there for a reason and it definitely has some valuable insights to share with you. Its all a game of self-talk and inner exploration. So, demand happiness from this voice and tell her you would like to be happy and ask for help and guidance. Go to its wisdom land and learn the messages it wants to share with you. Check with your beliefs and tweak on ways that can make you happy and live life pleasantly. Use certain affirmations and rephrase your sentences accordingly.
5) If Nothing Else Works, Exercise CONTROL & SHOUT AT IT
If your loving approach of unleashing it kindly is not working then just scream loudly at your mean voice every single time it comes in your mind. The moment you have a thought that won’t do any good to you, just snap out of it and show it a red face and tell her “NOT NOW”.
Just remember that the control of your body machine is in your hands and you can fine tune the sound system as per your wish. Just be a little patient, because sometimes its just stuck!
Tell me what are your own ways to deal with the irksome and negative thoughts? Do you have rituals or affirmations? I would love to know! Share them in the comments below! 🙂