This wide,vast, amazing universe is made up of stories, some are good and some are bad. Some are constructive in their essence and some will destroy every piece of your perception. Some will expand your reality and the others will keep you stuck in a small cabinet. Some will certainly entertain you and many of them will sulk you down.
Yes, believe it or not but you are a Storyteller my friend. You don’t have to belong to any of the profession that consider this skill as an art. You don’t have to be a writer, speaker or a filmmaker of any kind because the story that you narrate in your head does not require any education or a mind-blowing degree. This mental voice is always on the go and never shuts down. It might sound like a friend or a foe. It may tell you – you are amazing, you are smart or it may put you down by stating some random shit like you are not good enough or not beautiful enough.
We usually don’t recognize this voice but we are always directed by it. Because what we say to ourselves changes the way we behave and then eventually changes the way we react to life and it determines our attitudes to a greater degree. If you are happy with everything that is happening around and you are good with your story then I must congratulate you and ask you to not read further but, if you are somewhere in between this confusing state where you believe that you can do better or you are not happy then let’s discover ways to change this story –
Accept The Old Story
The first step is to sit with yourself and identify the story you are repeating to yourself now and then. The kind of words you use and statements you throw at yourself. There will be a collection of mini scripts in your mental mind pertaining to all the aspects of your life like; career, health, relationships, family, your capabilities and your habits. But they will all have a single theme, they might be empowering you or dis-empowering you. All you have to do is to accept all its angles and be okay with it. If your inner narrator says you don’t deserve a good relationship or you can’t ever succeed in life – make peace with it. Because there is a difference between YOU and that VOICE. You have to recognize, identify that voice coming from some past experiences, old beliefs or parents but it is NOT you and to change it we have to accept its dirty account.
After accepting your inner dialogue, ask if it is all true? Question everything, ask if you really believe in all this about yourself? To change and control this recital, we have to first be willing to see the portrayal differently. If we believe this story wholly we won’t be able to change it. We need to know if we want to go behind it and reconstruct it, if at all or not. Be easy on yourself and don’t over indulge in this reflection but just show up with a face that believes there is something more to how you want to live your life. You should be able to see how this tale is limiting you and keeping you small and producing unwanted results in your life.
Here is one of my stories – I thought myself to be a pathetic writer and when I questioned myself, “Why do I believe I suck at writing” – I realized that I had no answer – I just thought myself to be such a person who cannot write. I felt competition around my peers and I always had people who were exceptionally good at writing so I believed I can’t be like them. Hence, the limiting belief popped up from my own thinking. I discovered that it was just my own thought that I chose to believe in and then it became my negative story as I fed myself with it again and again.
Sometimes we just believe in things because we want to believe in them for safety and comfort. That is why they say – Help yourself!
Write A New Story
It will be very good if you can jot down all the points on paper you want to repeat in your head. I am not asking you to write affirmations but the truthful statements about how you would like to re-frame your story. I started saying – I can write well. I don’t have to compare myself and writing is a skill that you learn with practice and time. And there are many other scripts of my life that I am currently working on. So, just be assured you are not alone in this.
Write a new story that makes you happy and gives you good feelings. Tell your narrator to choose the next positive thought that will work for you.
If you need help in this aspect, please feel free to drop me an email at ruchikabatra@live com and we shall be able to work together to create a new uplifting story for you that won’t drown you in delusional optimism.
Support Your New Voice
Congratulations for coming so far, it takes courage to acknowledge our stories and twist and play with them. It is not at all easy to convince yourself and change everything you have been believing about your world from decades. You have to support your new belief and keep repeating it. Accompany this new loving narrator with right actions, when I believed I can write, I started writing more and I kept on proving my negative story that she was wrong. So you have to keep proving yourself with small right steps and be kind to yourself in this whole process. Your dominant negative story might get scared when you reject its direction but you have to keep trusting that small loving voice and help him/her make its space without judgement. Please be humble with yourself and one day at a time, take baby steps to change the story of your life.
We are nothing but the stories we keep telling ourselves. If in any way that mental narrator is negative or keeping you play small, you can shift the whole game and make it work for yourself because that voice is not who YOU are. You can control it, question it, write a new script and play with it as much as you want and anytime you want. In this whole journey please be humble and kind to that little sweet whisper that is ready to help you expand your beautiful life.